Ask Tater-Tits: Help! I Don’t Get Along With My Co-Workers
Sarah from The Woodlands, Texas asks:
I recently started a new job with a bunch of other girls my age and I feel very alone and like I don’t connect with anyone.
They have all worked together for a really long time and they are very clique-ish.
Beyond simply feeling like I don’t fit in, there are a couple of girls who are downright rude and make me feel like
I don’t belong there.
This job is a really good opportunity for me and I am making more money than I have ever made before, but I miss having friends at work and I’m lonely.
What should I do?
Dear Miss Can’t Get Along With Others,
I get it, and I’ve been there. It is so exhausting feeling like you don’t have allies at work or like you have to play stupid games to get through your work day. I, personally, have had a lot of bar jobs. Some where the other girls felt like family and others where my co-workers felt like complete strangers. The latter is definitely disappointing and stressful.
It can be hard to make friends as an adult, and even harder to infiltrate an already solid group. My honest advice is to kill them with kindness. I know that is hard to do, especially with the nasty ones, but what has always worked for me is to appear as unaffected as possible and just to keep my head down and do my job while being as nice and helpful to other people as possible. Volunteer to work late or take on extra projects, and cover other people when they need help.
Another thing I suggest doing is to ask for help when needed. Navigating through a new work place is hard, especially when you feel unwelcomed; be bold and ask these girls for advice or instructions. This will make them feel more invested in your success in the company and potentially help them open up themselves to you.
If all this doesn’t work it is okay to stand your ground and simply inform another person they are being rude to you. Some people are emotionally lacking and are so stupid they honestly don’t realize their actions or words are affecting others. Letting them know is okay and will hopefully help them realize that they are being total dickholes and that you won’t stand for being walked all over.
And, whatever you do, don’t go running and complaining to your boss. Remember, snitches get stiches.
If all that still fails, remember that a job is a job and there are plenty of other ones out there. Making a lot of money is nice, but isn’t worth it if you are miserable all day.
Hope this helps!
Victoria Tate and Friends
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